How Motivation Develops Love Relationship

Motivation is the inner strength that enables each person to achieve own aspirations and goals in life. Love relationships are almost entirely driven by this inner strength. Despite this fact, motivation loses value with time and ends love relationships prematurely. Understanding how motivation develops a love relationship vital in making it last.

Motivation thrives on the threshold of self accomplishments. Past successes especially when one had to surmount major hurdles serves well to build motivation. This extends inside love relationships. The following outline gives an idea of how motivation develops love relationship and why lovers should aim to make it part of their own being:

• Enables in decision making: One of the major challenges in love relationship is making a decision to be in a relationship or not. Making the decision is difficult because it involves some level of risk taking. However, the inner strength convinces one that he/she can face the challenge. Such a person must find a reason enough that would make them accept to take the decision of beginning a relationship. Motivation convinces a person that such a decision would improve his/her future life and hence accepts or denies whichever decision helps in improving their future. Thus less motivated individuals will find it difficult to accept to be in love relationship while others will enter into one not taking much consideration of future repercussions.
• Gives reservoir of resources in time of need: It is a fact that love relationship does not consist of joy from day one to infinity. Times come when lovers are not in good terms with each other. Such are the moments, when unchecked leads to premature end of love relationships. At such moments, the inner strength becomes handy in sorting issues concerned. At the depth of each one during such moments is the desire to bring solution. This desire arises out of the reservoir built by motivational moments of the past in each of the parties. Most of the resources needed in sorting out any of the issue at hand are stored by self motivation.
• Breeds creativity: Creativity is blood that runs in the arteries of love relationships. Lovers need to be creative to enhance their love moments. Creativity cannot be without inner conviction and strength. When motivation is highest among lovers, it prompts them to think of ways that can increase it. This creativity goes a long way in enabling such lovers take up new assignments aimed at increasing their mutual pleasure, joy, fulfillment and meaning.
• Gives focus and direction to the love relationship: You cannot think about motivation and not think about the future. Motivated lovers are forward looking and plans for their future. Motivation enables such lovers to create their own future projects and exercises. Motivated lovers experience most out of their relationships for they are able to forge their desired future and work towards achieving it.

When you appreciate this role of motivation in building love relationship, it then occurs to you that motivation is a key ingredient within relationships. In fact, one can safely take the position that lack of motivation in love relationships explain the high rates of pain caused by failed relationships. Should you take that position, then all efforts are to be devoted to ensure that motivation increases within relationships and even so in marriage unions.

Relationship, How to deal with the Pain of Rejection.

It is not always the case that people initiating a relationship will end up in one. As it begins, the initiators of relationships are in high expectation that all their attempts will be rewarded with acceptance. However it does not always work. But does it matter? Yes it does because the experience of the rejection determines how the subsequent relationships are going to be sustained. More over the pain resulting out of a' no answer' can be devastating hence the need to know how to deal with it.

It is important to understand first that rejection of a relationship initiation attempts affects the parties different. To the one being approached to begin a relationship, the rejection may at times be due to lack of readiness to begin one. To express this fact they may turn down the request. Another reason is dislike of the person probably based on genetics, character, physique or some other traits. In nut shell, the person turning down the offer, bases the rejection to some sort of judgment as compared to what he/she holds dear.

However, it is quite a different story for the one being rejected. At first, the initiator of the relationship will have gone through a challenging moment. To decide that it is time to offer the proposal, usually it will have taken days may be months of procrastination. Rejection automatically breeds pain. The pain results out of the person trying to understand without soliciting for advice the reasons for the rejection. Since the questions asked do not get answered, it breeds some a sense of anxiety that breeds stress. This is the stress that blurs rational judgment of the situation at hand and aggravates the pain. Rejection means that the persons being rejected may suffer from low esteem. Depending on how it is interpreted, it results to loss of will power to continue. When the will power is so diminished, the person may threaten to harm himself/herself in a bid to attract attention.

If one finds himself/herself going through this moment of pain what would be the best way forward?

• Stay Focused: The most important thing once you have been rejected is to know and determine that life must go on. This fact helps in building back the will power that is crucial in life at such a moment.
• Give yourself time: Up to the day one person requests the other for a relationship the period is characterized by immense emotional tension, fatigue, anxiety and uncertainty. But these realities are usually ignored all together but do weigh down on the person proposing. When rejection comes, consider giving yourself time for emotional rest. This would help regain the lost energy needed to move on.
• Find a confidant: Rejections in relationships are not unique. Usually many people will have faced rejection on their first proposals. It is important in the healing process to know that you are not the only being rejected, other people have. So find a confidant or a friend who has a stable relationship and share out your experience. Such sharing may prove very therapeutic at the end.
• Do not give up: It is easy to overcome the pain once you know you can succeed tomorrow. Today's failures could just be a small mark in a long journey of success ahead. So decide that you are going to move on and that you are going to propose to one who won't turn down your request.

How Communication Cements a Relationship

Every magnificent piece of architecture has some bonding materials. A widely used bonding material has been cement. A building will surely crash once the proper bonding materials are not mixed in the right proportion. So it is in relationship that involves two lovers or people in a family. Communication is the way two people or more pass messages to each other. In relationships, communication is meant to express emotions, pass message that should translate to action or just to appreciate. Since people in a relationship spend much time together and if not they often communicate, its has been viewed as an important aspect in a relationship. In fact even the genesis of a relationship is communication and its fall is more often as a result of communication.

How then does communication actually cement a relationship? Usually, communication is part of the ingredients that make a good relationship. So it must be used in some proportion to the other factors such as actual show of appreciation. Communication cements a relationship if it makes the other person experience the genuineness of the messages. Communication aside from the other components is one way through which a person accesses the heart of the partner. Any aspect of communication that hinders this attempt breaks communication. In a relationship the people communicating want to imagine and feel that they are communicating with the other person from the bottom of the heart.

With communication the hidden intangible factors determine how effective the communication is going to be. The hidden factors include intentions, personal regard for the other person. What these factors do is that they give the communicated message its tone, and flesh. So if the intentions are incompatible with the objectives of the message, then communication breaks down and hence the relationship. Cementing relationship through communication involves passing the message in such a way that the hidden intangible factors also express the same message.

The message "you are wonderful" is simple but how it is wrapped and delivered can either bond the relationship or break it. It might break if the environment and circumstances are wrong, while they are wonderful when the environment is receptive. Environment here does not refer to the geographical features but, the emotional state, the harmony state among others in a relationship. So when thinking about communication in a relationship think about the impact of the hidden intangible factors that affect the communication. Once effectively considered,, the result is a strong relationship.

Love, How to find its Place in a Relationship

How do you define love? This seems a basic question, yet the word has been used countless number of times and in different contexts and during different situations. Because of love people get into relationships that last for ever and because of love relationships break.

I want to define love as the sum of the human inner feelings that prompts that individual to appreciate, hold in high regard and place any other person in an esteemed position and consequently express that state outward. Love is a mix of inexpressible state that only the person loving knows that state and one being loved reciprocates in manner that the lover is likely to interpret in the intended (by the lover) manner.

Its place in relationship is that it provides the basis and the bearing of the relationship. If the person being loved reciprocates what the lover offers, then the relationship is cemented and rewarded. It becomes the reason why gifts, affection, appreciation is offered. If for some reason the same rewards are extended to another person who is not part of the relationship, the same is interpreted as love by one party and hate by the other.

Thus where love builds, the same love can destroy. In destruction love causes relationships to break because the rewards that are offered are jealously guarded so that they are only consumed by the person to whom it is intended. This explains why the same love that causes joy and provides reason for a relationship in one causes pain and anguish to another.

If you are in relationship then it is important to appreciate why this concept love is so significant. While many enter into a relationship citing love as the reason, it is the same love expressed to another person that causes anguish and destitution. What then is important is to know what love can do and then guard which side you want to build. If you want to safeguard your relationship with a particular person its important that the rewards extended to her/him are not extended to any other person.

For love to make any impact it has to be outwardly expressed. The outside expression of love announces to those outside the relationship its existence among those expressing it. This expression of love has to be mutually agreed and consented. Any interpretation of this outside expression that is contrary to the consented manner begins to strain love and eventually the relationship. Thus the centrality of love in a relationship. Safeguard your relationship not only by expressing love outwardly, but by also in manner that will not send mixed signals to the one you love and others not in the relationship.

Relationships Lessons from Children

Have you ever watched children in a playing field or when a child meets a stranger? One of the things that happens as you watch them you begin to understand something about their character. More often, children will find it easy to mingle and to make friends. Their ability to make new relationships flows almost effortless and within a period of less than an hour they will have become friends possibly for life.

But what drives this quick and sure bonding? I noticed among many things, children easily overcomes any challenge they meet in their relationships. Take for instance, if a child is wronged by the other such a child will at best just cry for a few seconds and the next moment he/she is hugging whoever made them cry. In the course of picking up new tasks, children forge ahead and forget what had happened earlier. They will easily begin playing with toys with- according to the observer- their 'enemies' as if nothing ever happened. They do not forget easily yes, but with ease they proceed to the next task.

How possible is this to adults and those who consciously and laboriously get into a relationship? Many find it difficult to learn from children and to do as children do partly because the level of rationalization has increased but partly because they lack the skills children possess. The following lessons from children can help in cementing the relationships that you have:-
AS far as possible never keep a record of the wrongs of those you relate with: Children do not ever remember how many times their friends have wronged them. For you to enhance the relationships that are so dear to you, do as children do-burn the notes that indicate how many times your partner has gotten into your nerves.
Determine Your focus:- When children are playing, they only have one focus-to derive maximum joy and happiness in what they do. Whether your relationships involve your place of work or your life long partners determine what your focus is. That way its achievement becomes your primary factor of consideration.
Always find a way of overcoming a challenge: Children never give up. In the playing field, a child will compete with his friends whether he wins or not. At that time, even the adults encourage them not to win but to finish a race. The goal is not to be a winner but to overcome the fear of being defeated. Relationships face many challenges, some are too intimidating while others are easily overcome. Isolate them and do find ways of overcoming the very difficult ones, do not fear.
Never give up: As one watches the children this comes out to be a major lesson. Rarely do children give up-whether they want their dads to buy them toys or ride on tricycle of their friends, they will ask and ask until they get it. Relationships are formed on the basis of mutual understanding. While it may not be possible for those in a relationship to move together, the key is not to give up trying to convince the other party about one's opinion. Never give up exploring possibilities of making your relationship better.

Be a consultant of Your Relationship

When one gets into a relationship with a person, the goal is more often to make that relationship as long as possible. To many, the aim might be to see themselves in a state when all of them know each other so well that they would think almost the same.

However, the current rate of divorce and separation shows that these relationships do not end up in happiness whether the two had intended to get married or not. As a result many find themselves in depression, stress and end up having diseases triggered by such failed relationship.

To make your relationship last consider the following:

• Be the consultant in your affairs: Never allow some one define for you what you should do to have a lasting relationship. Both of you discuss and become your own consultants in your relationship. Forget the crap about relationship counselors-you are best counselors of your relationship.
• Invest in each other: Investing in a relationship brings more dividends than any other therapy. When you get into a relationship, you must begin to know what raw materials are needed to make it a success. Is it time together, is it joint ventures, is it intimacy. Invest and invest.
• Bring adventure: Most relationships fail due to lack of any thing new. A relationship is not an end by itself. You get to bore one another without anything new. Aim to bring fun into your relationship. Tell stories, visit places, discuss news, play with your pets in an afternoon-aim is to break the monotony.

Relationships

On this site we are going to be writing so much about relationships. One may however wonder what will be our parameters in so doing. We need to define the road map within which we shall be operating so that we can add value to the readers and those visiting the blog. Here we will talk about relationships from the minute sense of the word to its broadest meaning possible.

We shall write about relationships as far as children, young adults, adults, those dating, married couples, work place relationships and any other aspect that bring human being together are concerned. In so doing we will provide a basis on which friends can get resources to be able to deal with the various problems human beings encounter in the journey of life. The aim is to provide online literature that can change someone's life.

You will have a chance to add your voice in the comments section and also you will have my contacts just in case you need to take forth a certain line of thought.