Love, How to find its Place in a Relationship

How do you define love? This seems a basic question, yet the word has been used countless number of times and in different contexts and during different situations. Because of love people get into relationships that last for ever and because of love relationships break.

I want to define love as the sum of the human inner feelings that prompts that individual to appreciate, hold in high regard and place any other person in an esteemed position and consequently express that state outward. Love is a mix of inexpressible state that only the person loving knows that state and one being loved reciprocates in manner that the lover is likely to interpret in the intended (by the lover) manner.

Its place in relationship is that it provides the basis and the bearing of the relationship. If the person being loved reciprocates what the lover offers, then the relationship is cemented and rewarded. It becomes the reason why gifts, affection, appreciation is offered. If for some reason the same rewards are extended to another person who is not part of the relationship, the same is interpreted as love by one party and hate by the other.

Thus where love builds, the same love can destroy. In destruction love causes relationships to break because the rewards that are offered are jealously guarded so that they are only consumed by the person to whom it is intended. This explains why the same love that causes joy and provides reason for a relationship in one causes pain and anguish to another.

If you are in relationship then it is important to appreciate why this concept love is so significant. While many enter into a relationship citing love as the reason, it is the same love expressed to another person that causes anguish and destitution. What then is important is to know what love can do and then guard which side you want to build. If you want to safeguard your relationship with a particular person its important that the rewards extended to her/him are not extended to any other person.

For love to make any impact it has to be outwardly expressed. The outside expression of love announces to those outside the relationship its existence among those expressing it. This expression of love has to be mutually agreed and consented. Any interpretation of this outside expression that is contrary to the consented manner begins to strain love and eventually the relationship. Thus the centrality of love in a relationship. Safeguard your relationship not only by expressing love outwardly, but by also in manner that will not send mixed signals to the one you love and others not in the relationship.